Have you noticed that most of what we are is a repeating pattern of thoughts and behaviors that are mostly formed and executed without any conscious effort on our part?

If you look at your own life and what you do every day, what you think every day, and the ways you are every day, you can see that most of it is repeating.

You have a way to brush your teeth, say hello, dress, and hold your cup. The options that appear when you think about food, the options that show up when you look at what you can achieve today, what you will most likely experience, and the way you will feel.

Creating patterns of perception and patterns of action is a wonderful function of the brain that could be argued led to the success of the human being. Our ability to categorize, perceive, create a solution, and store that solution is extremely powerful.

There are ways you and I are that were built 25 years ago, and they still work. The brain has to make minimal effort to execute these actions when you have learned to drive a car. At one point, you do it all in automatic mode.

Yet, there is one fundamental error we seem to make when it comes to our patterns. We mistake them as fixed. We start relating what we do to who we are. We mistakenly assume that certain ways we act are just so.

We give the steering wheel over to a mechanism of survival and can assume a personality that has no say over any of it.

On top of that comes the fact that others relate to themselves and you the same way, assuming permanent personality traits, ways of being and acting as YOU.

In my work with my clients, we get to challenge this notion of permanence and start relating to patterns as patterns instead of something permanent about them.

The effect?

They start breaking their patterns.

Someone who just doesn't like going out and meeting people becomes a social person. Someone who falls into arguments all the time becomes a great listener instead. Someone struggling with money becomes responsible for their money situation and turns it around. Someone who is used to being an employee embodies the traits of leadership.

The first step in breaking the pattern is to realize that you are run by a pattern.

Once the pattern is identified, you can start to wonder about an alternative pattern. Instead of expecting my employees to know what I want, how about I practice communication instead?

Instead of watching TV to fall asleep, what about going for a walk with my partner?

Instead of doubting myself, how about practicing action and spending more time in the world instead of in your head?

Almost all behaviors are learned and can be unlearned or replaced.

It starts by seeing that as a possibility.

My invitation to you is to have a look at your patterns running you:

What do you automatically expect?

What do you automatically do?

How do you respond when something unexpected happens?

How do you relate to yourself?

What are things you often say about you?

What are the ways you speak about your work?

How do you talk about your partner?

Make it an effort to, at times, simply do something totally different and see what you discover.

Have fun discovering!

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